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This is Ben. At one time he was a legend in his own driveway, bringing pleasure to literally tens of people.

But in an ever-changing world, Ben now spends most of his time losing his keys, going somewhere and then forgetting why he went, and sitting on a park bench shouting up buses.

Forgotten heroes like Ben need your help. So please donate what you can, anything will be gratefully received.

Even that tin of pink salmon you've had in the back of your kitchen cupboard since 1983 will help this noble cause.

Please send your donations to the Cholton-cum-Hardy Twilight Rest Home for Washed...er...retired porn stars.